All Wrong

Looking into his eyes..

May I look past your chinky eyes
And your gorgeous smile..

These eyes have seen an awful lot
Pain sits on his eyelids
and as he blinks
The flashbacks haunt his very sight
Tears form as I watch first hand
Every painful memory viewed by his very eyes
Unable to remove this staring lock
Rivers flow from the windows of my soul..

Holding his hands..

May I feel your pain..
Relax your nerves..
And hurt no more..

I graze my finger tips with his
And instantly I feel his pain
His walk through this rain
Brutality at its best on his life
Where has he come from
And where is he going
My body grows weak

Awaiting his acceptance speech..

May I ask you to speak for me..
Allow me to understand your dilemmas..
So I may become one with your solution.

Just as he moves his mouth
Nothing comes out
Words unclear
Only thing understood is his fear
Speechless we are left
In a world where silence stands proud
Mentally overpopulated with so much to be heard.


He reaches for a pen and paper..
This was his reply..

Optimism

Would you mind if I placed my hand on your heart..

My mind has lost its way.
My hair has begun to fall out.
My weight goes up and down.
My sight has turned to black and white.
This body my soul lives in grows weak.

Would you mind if we locked hands together..

My problems grow as time progresses.
My understanding fades.
My feelings have become numb.
My voice has become unheard.
Im slowly dying internally.

Would you mind if I closed my eyes before you..
My struggles seem to fade.
My light seems that much brighter.
My reasons for living seem worth it now.
My air is filtered through every breath you take.
You give me life.

Would you mind if I fell in love..

Mental War

These words are nothing compared to what I'm feeling.

I am constantly fighting for control of my mind.

Words as simple as 'what the worst that can happen'

Wedged into every thought and I am forced to believe it.

Tormented as a kid with these wicked thoughts.

Misunderstood growing up is the worse feeling anyone could go through.

But I'm here, barely.

Suicidal thoughts escalate to the front of my mind.

I smoke and drink to ease the pain momentarily.

Because if I didn't I would probably be dead by now.

I'll smile and tell you nothing is wrong.

But lately the pain has been building up.

Its become harder to smile. My nights have become sleepless.

The people in my circle grow thin.

My body grows weak.

I am lost more than ever.

It feels like everything everyone tells me is a lie.

Females are in and out my life.

The only steady thing I have is my pen and pad.

I find peace in the ink I use to write.

Because I am going through such a mental war.

My Escape

I can sit for hours and dream about the different lifestyles

I could have had, but when it all comes down to it, I'm grateful for the people in my life. We all flow together like the ripples in a

tide. We splash against the rocks together, and we all are headed

in the same direction. which direction, I'm not sure but as long as

we're together I could care less.

Untitled

Place your hands in mine.
can you feel my pain ?
sweaty palms and the shivers..
I'm 20 years old and my life is withered..
time passes by and speech cant even be delivered..
nails grow long as I hold my head high..
but no one knows my struggle or even as to why..

shit neither do I.


Look into my eyes.
can you see my pain ?
blood shot red and the tears..
you have no clue not even the slightest of ideas..
the shit I've seen and the fears I've feared..
I'm far past scared..

Touch my body.

can you deal with the pain?

my skin so hot but my soul so cold..

they called me a young man with an old soul..

pressed against the words spoken behind my back because its all I know..

but I'm silent because he who listens will always grow..

Feel my feet.

can you walk in my pain ?

turn around..

can you understand why I walk in the rain ?

the rain drops of pain drop on my name..

but I keep pursuing it because with sunshine I'll never be the same..

I just want it to be over, patience I was explained..

Read my mind.

can you understand my pain ?

the lies and deception I've dealt with..

swallowed my pride because spitting these words never helped shit..

family and friends are here but the love never helped it..

I'm helpless..

Taste of Sin

Touch me unexpectedly and
Send chills through my body
Time doesn't.. so why wait
Kiss my lips
Hands around my waist I wanna feel your grip
Remove my clothes
Press your body against mines I want you to feel my soul
Loosen your belt
Let me slide your pants off
Pull your panties to the side and let my tongue get lost
Roll your eyes in the back of your head
Ima put you in a world of ecstasy without you leaving your bed
Lock your legs behind my head with all your might
I want you to grip me real tight
Climax for me like it was the first time in your life
Got me smiling as I watch your body shiver
If you like it I love it I'm just here to deliver
As you smile at me I stand at full attention
Just unbutton my pants and view the main attraction
Cancel your plans for the rest of the evening
You belong to me and I'ma take my time no need for speeding
Just lay back and relax your gonna be taken care of
As I rock my boat through your tunnel of love
The scratching on my back just excites me
As I pull in close you I want you to bite me
Eyes rolled back you've been here before
I watch your familiar faces you aint a guest no more
Turn your body over let me grab hold of your waist
Face down ass up tell me how that pillow taste
We make music as we pelvic thrust
Baby I can feel your gut
Scream my name just as you cum
Tighten up baby because I'm about to nut
Losing control my eyes wide shut
Gripping you tighter than ever whelps on your butt
Nails digging into your skin
Hair sweated out
But this was just a taste of sin...

Consistency

My heart constantly hurts,

but where do I begin..

Your love is unconditional,

but why does pain sit in..

I've tried to understand,

like maybe its just me..

But time and time again,

these tears just ran for a plea..

I wanna believe your innocence,

but you always prove me wrong..

Never crying, always swearing,

that your love for him is gone..

Too many times have I said,

that these are my last tears..

That I'm stronger without you,

and that losing you wasn't a fear..

So now I sit here at 2:00 am,

and watch as you as you lay..

And I'm led to write this poem,

but its simply just to say..

That you mean the world to me,

There's no doubt in my mind..

But enough is enough,

Its either his life or mine..

My heart constantly hurts,

but where do I begin..

If I can't have to myself,

then I guess we reached the end..

So if we are to part ways,

I just want you to understand..

That I'll always love you better,

even if I'm not your man

- Silence Has Spoken

About Me

What would you like to know.. 
About my life.. My secrets.. 
You trying find out my deepest.. 
Well peep this.. 
I’m 20 years young and my life to me a secret.. 
The words I speak are even a mystery.. 
Room mating with misery.. 
My voice is gibberish to your ears.. 
And the look on my face spells FEAR..
But let it be clear.. 
I am fully understood when that pen hits that pad.. 
The ink is my chair..
Relaxed to the sound of silent warfare.. 
The pen scribbles because the minds lyrical.. 
The book is my easel and the no time for an interval..
Thoughts liquefied to ink.. 
Because my voice is mystified just think.. 
When my notepad is heard by the ears of the deaf.. 
and seen by the eyes of the blind.. 
Then I'll say I'm really on my grind.. 
But until then this is just piece of mine
...To Be Continued

Writers Block

So I'm a lay my head on the paper

Full tank of gas so I'll let my thoughts just take her

To a place where its no such words as I'll make her

If I'm down she down I'ma do more than myspace her

Seeing the rest of my life somebody call Jacob

Ring size a four I'ma velvet box and cheese cake her


Smile melting my heart everytime I face her

And when I'm on the phone she shines right through the speaker

She tells me she's loves me cuz I know just how to please her

And I love her back for more than her pleasing demeanor

And when I talk its like she swear I could G her

Twisted mind untangles everytime that I see her

Can't front I just wanna hold her.. squeeze her

Never let her go and if I do Ima chase her

Wouldn't waste my time.. Its impossible to replace her

Taking my time like a pencil without an eraser

But I know its real love I could never mistake her