All Wrong

Looking into his eyes..

May I look past your chinky eyes
And your gorgeous smile..

These eyes have seen an awful lot
Pain sits on his eyelids
and as he blinks
The flashbacks haunt his very sight
Tears form as I watch first hand
Every painful memory viewed by his very eyes
Unable to remove this staring lock
Rivers flow from the windows of my soul..

Holding his hands..

May I feel your pain..
Relax your nerves..
And hurt no more..

I graze my finger tips with his
And instantly I feel his pain
His walk through this rain
Brutality at its best on his life
Where has he come from
And where is he going
My body grows weak

Awaiting his acceptance speech..

May I ask you to speak for me..
Allow me to understand your dilemmas..
So I may become one with your solution.

Just as he moves his mouth
Nothing comes out
Words unclear
Only thing understood is his fear
Speechless we are left
In a world where silence stands proud
Mentally overpopulated with so much to be heard.


He reaches for a pen and paper..
This was his reply..

Optimism

Would you mind if I placed my hand on your heart..

My mind has lost its way.
My hair has begun to fall out.
My weight goes up and down.
My sight has turned to black and white.
This body my soul lives in grows weak.

Would you mind if we locked hands together..

My problems grow as time progresses.
My understanding fades.
My feelings have become numb.
My voice has become unheard.
Im slowly dying internally.

Would you mind if I closed my eyes before you..
My struggles seem to fade.
My light seems that much brighter.
My reasons for living seem worth it now.
My air is filtered through every breath you take.
You give me life.

Would you mind if I fell in love..

Mental War

These words are nothing compared to what I'm feeling.

I am constantly fighting for control of my mind.

Words as simple as 'what the worst that can happen'

Wedged into every thought and I am forced to believe it.

Tormented as a kid with these wicked thoughts.

Misunderstood growing up is the worse feeling anyone could go through.

But I'm here, barely.

Suicidal thoughts escalate to the front of my mind.

I smoke and drink to ease the pain momentarily.

Because if I didn't I would probably be dead by now.

I'll smile and tell you nothing is wrong.

But lately the pain has been building up.

Its become harder to smile. My nights have become sleepless.

The people in my circle grow thin.

My body grows weak.

I am lost more than ever.

It feels like everything everyone tells me is a lie.

Females are in and out my life.

The only steady thing I have is my pen and pad.

I find peace in the ink I use to write.

Because I am going through such a mental war.